Count to Ten

Ласкаво просимо в Україну

 We've arrived.  

Yessiree bub we have done it.

Airplanes with very little turbulence, very yummy food, very entertaining movies, very sore legs (only the last 2 hours), and ZERO lost baggage. I have yet to ever lose one. That makes me one happy lady.

Surprises? 

Ukraine is not as colorful.

The language makes up for it.

Their alphabet is wacky...in the coolest sense of the word.

The spoken word? Oh so interesting to listen to...and not understand a word.

I have to reteach myself to sign in order to get around. 

 More surprises?

I haven't cried ONCE!

If you know me...or if you're Erik...you may pass out from sheer disbelief.

It became quite a tradition that ever time I made it on the bus to Tehuacan in Mex I'd cry. Tears of relief. Not tears of sadness. But still tears.

Maybe having a sister as a traveling buddy makes it better. 

Maybe sharing a room with 6 (soon to be 9) other girls makes it socially unacceptable to weep.

Maybe I'm getting a bit tougher?

Ha okay DEFINITELY not that last part.

 But I'm grateful for a tearless few days.

I reside in Boyarka. A quaint little town.

We felt a little bit lost to start. 

They started off with "Don't go out after dark. It's too dangerous."

That scared me a little more than it should.

We walked the street during the middle of the afternoon with 5 of us together...and I was just anxious. I hated that I was so uncertain about being there.

 There's nothing worse than fearing that you're in over your head.

The fact that I was jet lagged helped in no way.

Don't you worry. (Cause of course you were worrying)

Today fixed it.

I'm ready to love Ukraine. 

We FINALLY figured out who was supposed to be helping us get situated. 

Her name is Olia and she's just a doll. 

She hooked us up with the travel system. Riding buses makes me miss Mex. 

Public transportation is actually one of my favorite parts about foreign lands. 

We made it to downtown Kyiv. It was "Kyiv Days" so I think the giant town square, which is about 17 different city blocks, if not more, was extra crowded. But it was loads of fun.

Such good people watching. The women here love getting dressed up. Not necessarily fashion I'd copy...not really anything you'd see in the states...but that's what makes it fun I think. 

People watching.

Good walking.

&&&&

We found the shopping. 

Yeah. Finding the shopping street made me feel at peace. 

I am such a city girl at heart. But a city girl in that I need a bit of city in my blood. 

I don't exactly know what it's like to live in a big city 24-7 but I need me some hustle and bustle.

Finding that in Ukraine and realizing that it's easy peasy to get there made everything seem splendid.

I even appreciate our small town location a little bit more. 

I can do it all.

Even face 90 kids tomorrow. 

 To top off a perfect afternoon we came back to YUMMY food.

Boiled potatoes, some meat, cucumbers, and yummy yummy yummy hard boiled eggs.

I always feel like a total tourist when I want to take pictures of the meals that make me happy.

If you know me...I dance in my seat a bit when I'm eating yummy food.

That happened tonight.

Thank the heavens above for yummy food.

We attempted to find the church today to no avail. 

I think Heavenly Father was still smiling down on us and blessed us with this special Sunday. 

Last but not least...good news? Bad news?

I'm apparently in charge around here?

I feel like I'm in the same boat as every other girl but apparently I have a bit more responsibility.

I guess that's good? 

I'm trying to be flattered because they trust me. 

I'd love to be trusted and told before hand...ha.

Oh well. I should know by now, that's just the life of living abroad. You NEVER know what's coming next.

I'm happy to be here.

Happy to be learning Russian/Ukranian.

Happy to share it with a sister.

Happy there aren't any crazies in the group.

Happy that it's wonderful weather.

Happy that I decided to do Thailand this fall.

Happy there are songs and pictures that can remind me of a boy back home.

Happy for yummy food.

Happy to be reading Harry Potter.

Happy. 

More to come from this wild ginger...

If Things Get Real For Me Down Here...

Sometimes you have absolutely zero drive to finish out the semester.

Less than zero.

Nada. 

NO. DRIVE.

No incentive.

Schooooool...bleck.

Sometimes you just want to eat Carl's Jr.

Every day.

For lunch.

Frenchy fries.

Sometimes you DO eat Carl's Jr. everyday for lunch.

Then you get chubbsy chubs.

AND 

Sometimes.

You find out that you won't be able to finish school when you thought you would.

Sometimes it makes you feel hopeless for one ENTIRE day.

Sometimes you think there's no hope.

Then...sometimes...

After your day of despair you realize that a Summer with out school could = A world full of wonder.

Sometimes you decide to go to the Ukraine for 6 weeks.

Sometimes your sister decides to come with.

Sometimes you realize you that going to school in the Fall will force you to be around to greet your wonderful R.M. brotha.

Sometimes you get addicted to watching zombies.

You may live your life defying every fad-esque thing you come across, but you jump on the zombie bandwagon anyway.

Sometimes it becomes your biggest fear.

Like getting scared driving home alone at night. That kind of biggest fear.

Ridiculous. 

Of course.

 

And every once in a great while (for this girl at least...)

You meet someone who makes you smile. 

**Disclaimer**

*I have meet about 1,000 people that make me smile.*

**I am immensely blessed with good people that bring joy to mi vida. ** 

But then there's this person that makes you smile in a different way.

You never thought you'd feel like this.

You never understood what it was like to want to spend that much time with one person.

They change your mind. 

Change for the better.

Now there are adventures to be had for two.

You Clicked Your Heels And Wished For Me

One of these days...

I swear...

I'll have a little more faith.

One of these days...

I'll realize that He actually has something MUCH better in store.

One of these days...

I remember and be constantly reminded that that 1% isn't all it's cracked up to be.

It's not perfect.

Not even close.

And that 99%?

Pretty darn close to perfect.

I like living in my world.

And That's Not Gonna Change, But Things Look Grim

What would I do with out Pandora? I'm glad I don't have to know.

Kimbra, OneRepublic, Kate Nash, and Justin Nozuka combine to make the best study buddies a gal could ask for. 

Even Kardinal Offishal for when I need a jolt to my soul sucked system.

Speaking of "soul sucked system"...

I've been in need of an adventure lately.

Good thing with the bargaining tool of cleaning the whole house on the table the parentals, the sister, and I will be heading to MOAB for the weekend. 

Chilly sunshine weather and red rock.

Don't mind if I do! 

Wait did I mention I love Pandora? 

 I do.

I also love...this

"The worst resolution to the Valentine Prisoner's Dilemma when YOU decide not to get your partner a present but your PARTNER decides to testify against you in the armed robbery case."

The jar of hammers actually seems kind of useful. Especially in the Valentine Prisoner's Dilemma.

 Did you laugh as hard as I did? WELL DID YOU??!!

I encourage you to read it out loud. I didn't know it was possible, but it gets even funnier. If you seem to have had your soul sucked out recently (by school or any other monster), or happen to be unfortunate and illiterate, just say the word and I'll read it to you! 

It wouldn't true to my "aesthetic" if this post didn't contain at least 3 separate an unrelated ideas.

Well here we go. I'm just being true to myself.

I have friends who may be dead on...or they may just be idiots, but they bring it up often enough for me to think about often.

They always say they deserve to have a crystal ball that will tell them what their future spouse will look like in 20, 30, 40 years. They so kindly group women in a category saying they lose their charm as they age. 

Ok so they probably are just idiots if they feel comfortable actually voicing these opinions.

 Have no fear. I have found my form of defense.

They are allowed to expect us ladies to be lovely and fit when we reach the age of 60 and above...

if they promise to be total stud muffins.

Check out this man.

 I will settle for nothing less than this kick ace of a man when my hair turns gray.

If you look like this gentleman, I will do whatever you ask of me. 

That's fair right?

I'd like to think so. 

Hey. Oh oh.

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.”

Remembering Sylvia Plath, who passed away on this day in 1963.

 Isn't it always the most genius humans that lead a tortured life?  And they always leave the earth a little too soon. Intelligence seems to come hand in hand with their own kind of monsters.

I'm slightly obsessed with Monsters right now. 

You've got to be stronger. Don't let them win.

When we used to be afraid of them under the same bed, or in our closets...

Monsters don't always have to be a bad thing.

I'm okay with kissing a few good monsters goodbye. And maybe letting a few different ones flourish.

Let Go of My Hand, So I Can Feel Again

This girl is a walking contradiction.

Her week may start out with a brain full of mush, but usually by the end of the week she's back in business.

 

She may be infamously grumpy on Fridays, but then BAM, her Friday maybe isn't a suck fest.

 

She may complain about her "ginger" roots and dye her locks to hide the truth.

But maybe going back red makes her feel like she's back where she belongs.

 

She loves her name. Love also abounds for the many MANY nicknames that come along with it.

She LOVES embodying her many heroes.

She loves the idea of being someone else.

Amelia Earhart

Red Riding Hood

Poison Ivy

She loves being a GIRL.

Her favorite thing in all the world is glitter, and it's possible that the obsession is crossing the line of normal and has become a little crazy.

Her hands sweat on cue. 

She misses reading every minute of every day.

Once this little thing called "School" passes she'll read once more.

She misses Mexico every minute of every day.

Once this little thing called "School" passes she'll return once more. 

"Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" is not  just "That Tom Hanks movie" to her. 

She gets unnecessarily defensive about the film and wishes the entire world knew the true beauty of the book. 

She's quite irrational. 

 In her class she learned that after 9/11 the amount of engagements shot up. It is proven that if you go through a traumatic experience (doesn't even have to be first hand) you are more likely to crave personal connection, example: proposing.

This girl's first thought? So I need to be dating someone when something terrible happens and then I'm bound to get engaged! Baha

DISCLAIMER: Don't take this as a "This chick is pathetic" story.

Take it as a "This silly girl is so silly."

Her name is Natalie. She is pleased to make your acquaintance.

Also...she spelled acquaintance right on her first try.

That's big.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even if the Skies Get Rough

I feel like I'm on sensory overload.

I'm a walking contradiction.

Every idea I have has an opposition on the polar opposite side yelling just as loud to be heard.  

(I'm taking 18 credits and that is the least of my worries.)

There is just too much good to take in.

And then there are the lame things that I fight to keep out.   

I want to DANCE every minute of every day.

I want to dance for something. On a stage. For eyes to see.

And at the very same time I want to dance in a big empty room and the dance will be mine. 

I want to graduate in August and get a real job.

Or do I want to go to Mexico in August and Taiwan after that?

And who knows where after that?

And never come home?

I want ADVENTURE.

I just want to sit on my bed and watch netflix flicks.

I want to CONQUER.

I can't even find the determination to clean my room.

Really though...if only it were that simple.

 

The feelings in my head fight constantly to be King of the Rock.

It makes me sleepy.

(Maybe sometimes I just go to Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by myself just to have a good cry.)

 I may need to be medicated...or locked away...or maybe I should just go to bed at a decent hour.

Or maybe I should move away.

Or maybe I should stay.

Or maybe I should just be ok.

Or maybe...

 

In a mixed up, jumbled up, sleep deprived mind,

I do know a few things for certain.

 

1.) Chivalry is not dead. To the young kid at the Junior High who opened the door for me even though he wasn't already going outside, You're great. 

2.)  Wearing my Nancy Drew shirt and my Amelia Earhart jacket makes me think that maybe, just maybe I can embody the fierceness of heroes real and fictional if just for a day.  

3.) It's possible that when you sign up for an institute class just to get a free parking pass, you might still actually learn a thing or two that bring some peace to your over analyzing brain. 

 4.) It's a little weird and a little awesome when you stalk a stranger's blog and reading their autobiographical post sounds like something you'd write for yourself...

&&

Most importantly

5.) No matter what happens with all these decisions, questions, frustrations, and elations, it's all gonna be just fine in the end. 

And it'll stay pretty great in the middle there too.

 

(raise your hand if every post I do is the same...)